Mothers are funny people. I never got along with mine
particularly well, not that there was anything wrong with her, or with our
relationship, but we just didn’t (and still don’t) see eye to eye on certain
things, and have some different interests and hobbies. My mother hates nature,
she thinks walking on a 2 minute path between the soccer field and a
residential neighbourhood is hiking
through the woods. She thinks jeans need to flare out at the bottom, and not be
tight anywhere. She keeps absolutely everything, including clothes that don’t
fit and she hasn’t worn in 10 years. I spend more time in the woods than I do
at home sometimes. I think my jeans should be fitted at the thigh, then either
be straight leg, or skinny leg. I throw out anything I haven’t used in the past
month or two and don’t envision myself using in the next month. I have never relied on my mother for
anything. Ever since I was 15 I have earned my own money (for the most part),
and before then I would save Christmas and Birthday money for things I wanted.
Her advice often went in one ear and out the other, and most of the time it was
unnecessary (Never leave your drink unattended at a party or someone might
spike it- I mean come on mom, I do have some common sense). We would fight about stupid things, mainly
because I was too stubborn and strong willed to accept her false information at
face value.
It wasn’t until I got the job as program director that I
realized how much I wanted to make her proud. I called her with the news, as
soon I got the position, and was so excited, as was she. It was the first time
I have ever shared in excitement with her. Then she wrote me an email, after I
got off the phone, telling me how proud of me she was (of course it was filled
with the same old common sense advice that I ignored, but still). I still have that email saved. It was the
first time I can recall her ever making a special effort to tell me she was
proud. I mean it was always there,
written in graduation cards, being said as I told her of the scholarship I won,
but never did I really believe it until that point in time. When I received the job at the gym back at
school, she was the first person I called again, even though it meant calling
her at work on my weak service cell phone. I realized in that moment that all I
have ever wanted to do was make her proud, and I feel, up to this point, I have
accomplished that.
I spent so much of my life feeling like I was missing out on
that motherly pride at sporting events, and that we would never be able to
share that connection, but I realized that I didn’t need her to be proud of my
baskets I scored, or the shut out I had at provincials, that wasn’t her area of
interest. Thankfully I had my father for that. I remember him coming to one of
my basketball games in middle school, and I had just scored 2 points. It wasn’t
a particularly fancy shot, it wasn’t the first basket I had scored that game,
but I remember looking at him on my way down the court and seeing that little
half smile that you give when you can’t help yourself. His pride was written
all over his face, and I will never forget that moment. Looking back now, Dad
was always there for the sports, the adventure, and the school, Mom was only
focused on the scholastic aspect, but that was alright. I have always craved
the support of my parents, but not I see I’ve had it all along!
Until next time,
Britt
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