Resolution

I was talking to a guy today at the Friendship room at the church we are working with here in Charlottetown, and we were talking about what I want to do as a career. After a little while he told me I seemed pretty focused for a 19 year old. It was one of those moments where you kind of stop and think about where you came from, all the hard decisions you made so far, all the mistakes you have made to get to that point. I’m at the point right now where I didn’t put enough effort into anything during my first two semesters and need to perform now in order to have any hope of getting into graduate school, especially med school. I’ve been timid of asking for help, seeing it as a sign of weakness. I’ve been a little dumb and naïve, thinking I could do it all and do it all well, all by myself. I’ve realized now how freaking wrong I was. I’m not able to do everything. I do need to prioritize. University is a chance for new experiences, but it’s also a chance to learn and to study. I am going back in September knowing what it feels like to fall pretty hard (by my standards anyway). I am going to give 110% to everything I do, but that might mean taking on less commitments. It will mean asking for help when I need it. It will also mean a few sacrifices. Maybe watching a movie with a friend isn’t more important that that midterm the next day. The one really good thing though is the resources and the people that I know will be around. I know I can boost my gpa, I know I will be able to start an honours project next year. I know I will be able to excel at my MCATS.  I just need to put in the work to do so. It will be hard, but I can do it. I need guidance, and strength from the only one who can give it, but I also know He will guide me through. It won’t be easy- very little that is worth anything rarely is, but it is possible and right now that’s all I need.

Coincidence

Delayed post-Written August 2013: 

Coincidence is a funny concept. So is fate. They kind of contradict each other. One is often used as an argument against the other. In Christianity there isn’t a whole lot of room for coincidences.  There is the belief we are all meant to be where we are every moment we are there in the scheme of some greater plan we are not wise enough to see. I have always believed in this concept, but I still am not ready to let go of the possibility that some things are just one big consequence. I think back to a few summers ago when I first got the job at this camp. Was it coincidence the camp I worked at for two years previous suddenly changed their job requirements? Was it a coincidence I got two rejection notices then ended up being called three days prior to training all because one girl needed to attend summer school? It’s a little mindblowing when we see the ways God can work in our lives. The fact I got that job three summers ago against all odds. 

Last night I had another one of those “this is too great to be a coincidence” moments. We had a dinner reservation at 6:00 pm but wanted to go to the movies at 6:30. We moved the reservation earlier, had everything pre decided to order, tried to rush through our meals and so on. It turned out there would be no way possible we could make it to the theatre on time, so we ate at leisure. We then decided to stroll to a giant chair and spend time taking photos. Out of the blue one of the members of our group decided she needed a new nose ring, so we started to walk to the tattoo shop, just down the road, even though we could have drove. As we were walking we saw a group of youth gathering in the parking lot of the catholic church- even though they normally meet inside. We walked over and ended up joining them for their meeting.  Along the way we also saw a sign for a concert that we went to tonight, and one of our group members ended up making a musical connection and learning a new song.  Who knows where he will play that song and the connections it will bring him, or how it will impact others. The youth group we went to opened my eyes, and we may never know if our being there will impact anybody else, but it is possible we were there that night to add to the conversation so that it may influence someone else. I just think about how incredible it is that our God can work in that way. He will lead us where we need to be, not where we want to be!

Maritimes

Over the past little while I have come to appreciate the maritimes more and more.  One of the biggest things that has stuck out to me in the past few weeks, first travelling to Glace Bay/New Waterford in Cape Breton, and spending this week in Charlottetown is the interconnectedness you feel with everyone. Even if you aren’t from the same place chances are they know someone who is from close to where you live, or have driven through on their way to visit somewhere or you have a mutual friend or something crazy like that. There is also a very distinct close knit community feel no matter where you go in the Maritimes. It’s weird, even now I’m in what would be classed as a city, but all of the people I have met so far are so welcoming and so open that it does not feel like that at all. I mean so far in the city I have talked to about 100 complete strangers at the Friendship room at the church we are working at, some random people at a concert tonight and was even stopped tonight at a restaurant by a customer wondering where the camp I work for is located ( I was still wearing my staff shirt). It’s just such a weird concept to grasp- but it really shouldn’t be. I hear horror stories of people moving away from home to a city and having a horrible experience. Or stories of newcomers coming and being put off a little by how open and friendly people are. It’s so weird to think this culture doesn’t necessarily exist everywhere.  It really is a reminder we need t stay humble and love our neighbours. I am only now starting to truly appreciate this concept.  I don’t know what I would ever do if I was to leave this area. I might be a little lost at first. 

Camp vs Society

I've been away from camp for a little over two weeks now, and let me tell you the transition back into normal life has been interesting. I remember when we came back from Ecaudor they talked a little about culture shock, leaving camp is a similar experience. there is a huge adjustment period, especially once you have lived there for 14 weeks. Of course leaving camp then coming straight into orientation week probably has a role to play in that, they are two very different experiences. I just thought I would post a few contrasts between society (university) and camp:

Camp-it's ok to not shower for two or three days because everyone understands you have absolutely no time, besides you're swimming every day anyway.
Society- daily showers are reccommended

Camp-staff shirts all the time mean you are never actually supposed to match your outfits and athletic shorts are acceptable 24/7
Society-getting dressed takes a lot more effort, you need to match outfits, and wear something other than workout clothes

Camp- shoes are optional
Society-shoes are necessary, oftentimes flip flops or runners are replaced by flats or "dress" shoes

Camp- because you live in such close quarters and are so used to each other awkward physical contact is expected and is no longer awkward
Society-that physical contact becomes uncomfortable again

Camp- somehow we manage to function on 4-6 hours of sleep a day
Society- once again my body requires 7-8 hours of sleep to function properly and stay awake during class

Camp- being active 95% of the day is awesome!
Society-sitting and doing work for 60% of the day is not so awesome


That's all I got for right now, I am sure there is more just can't think of any at this moment in time, feel free to add some of your own in the comments section :)