Resolution

I was talking to a guy today at the Friendship room at the church we are working with here in Charlottetown, and we were talking about what I want to do as a career. After a little while he told me I seemed pretty focused for a 19 year old. It was one of those moments where you kind of stop and think about where you came from, all the hard decisions you made so far, all the mistakes you have made to get to that point. I’m at the point right now where I didn’t put enough effort into anything during my first two semesters and need to perform now in order to have any hope of getting into graduate school, especially med school. I’ve been timid of asking for help, seeing it as a sign of weakness. I’ve been a little dumb and naïve, thinking I could do it all and do it all well, all by myself. I’ve realized now how freaking wrong I was. I’m not able to do everything. I do need to prioritize. University is a chance for new experiences, but it’s also a chance to learn and to study. I am going back in September knowing what it feels like to fall pretty hard (by my standards anyway). I am going to give 110% to everything I do, but that might mean taking on less commitments. It will mean asking for help when I need it. It will also mean a few sacrifices. Maybe watching a movie with a friend isn’t more important that that midterm the next day. The one really good thing though is the resources and the people that I know will be around. I know I can boost my gpa, I know I will be able to start an honours project next year. I know I will be able to excel at my MCATS.  I just need to put in the work to do so. It will be hard, but I can do it. I need guidance, and strength from the only one who can give it, but I also know He will guide me through. It won’t be easy- very little that is worth anything rarely is, but it is possible and right now that’s all I need.