Study Break Adventure!

Sometimes all you need is a little snow, and a peppermint mocha to make everything seem alright. We are smack into the middle of finals week (or month the way it's dragging on) and I have been tired of studying since day one so tonight, after having a semi productive day, I decided to take a walk downtown with a friend to go work on my mothers Christmas gift (another post for another day). It was the best thing I have done in a while.The temperature was perfect, snow was falling from the sky, the roads were still and there was the occasional Christmas decoration. It was like the world belonged to us for this night. It was as close to perfect as Fredericton can ever get! it was a great chance to refocus and be ready for a few more hours of productivity before bed!

A quick glimpse of our walk down! The photo really doesn't do it
justice, but it was breathtakingly beautiful!

one of those nights

I was having one of those nights where you just feel like nothing is going right and you are alone in the world (although we won our first mixed curling match, that was nice) and I decided to look back on my old blog posts.  Man I am a weird person haha. It actually helped me a lot tonight to see how much change has happened over the past year or so. I have learned so much, discovered so many things about myself and those around me. It hasn't always been happy stepping, dark waters rolled by, but I lived.  And I will continue to live.

One of the things that struck me was how I could remember certain events. Like the one night I was biking home from curling and I almost lost a hand because I forgot a glove. Or the day I walk outside and fall on ice. Or the specific canoe ride I had this summer.  The words of those memories brought me back to a time when I could feel the pain, or the peace, the frustration, the adventure. It's crazy the power words have on us.

There really was no point to this post, I think I just wrote it for myself, for the next time I am going through a rough patch that I can look here and know everything will be just fine!

Until then,
Britt

Internet Fast

This weekend I have decided I will be 100% focused on what I need to get done.  Ok, well probably not 100% but close to it, mainly because I have 600000000000 things to do before this week is over. Not to mention exams are quickly coming. Along those lines I will not be using the internet for anything other than accomplishing those tasks this weekend, which means no facebook, no twitter, no random reading of articles (you know you're a university student when) and so on. As of 3:00 today I will be avoiding all distraction. Let's see how this goes!

-Until Monday,
Britt

Lest We Forget

Remembrance Day is a holiday that has lost most of its meaning over the past few years. We have less and less veterans from WWII, and less people are taking the time out of their busy lives to remember. What we don't realize is the war isn't over yet. WWI and WWII are things of the past, but we still have military personnel who continue to fight for our freedom. Afghanistan has killed many of our countrymen, and harmed many more (physically and emotionally). 

I remember being younger and laying a wreath for my Great Grandfather, who I knew for only a few short years before he died. I loved that, but then when I got a little older and my Great Grandmother passed away we stopped, and by that point I had become "too old" to attend the services. I would complain it was too cold, or too rainy (because I fail to remember a Remembrance Day where it wasn't one or the other). I realize now the day wasn't about me. It wasn't about a day off school, it shouldn't matter what the weather was. It is a day about those who served our country, a military, as firefighters, as police officers and so on. It is a day to celebrate our freedom which we owe to the work of these men and women, whether they are alive today, or have died. It is a time to pray nothing like that ever happens again, and a time to reflect. 

I'm about to head to the Fredericton service, but if for some reason you aren't able to make it to a service today, take a look at this video I heard a few years ago by a Newfoundland artist and pay your respects in some way this year. It's only a few minutes, just think of all the time you've spent on the computer, surfing the internet, or watching TV today. Even if you are super busy, a few minutes won't ruin your whole day. Remember today, and every other. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kX_3y3u5Uo&list=RD2kX_3y3u5Uo

Until next time, 

Britt

 

What does the future hold?

Future. What a word that is. We are so uncertain of our futures. No matter how much we try we can not fully predict what tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, 10 years from now will bring. It's not a sure thing either, tomorrow might not come (although I really hope it does, I kind of like this whole being alive thing).

Lately I have been asked more than a few times what I'm going to do in the future. I have started curling at a new club, which means I am meeting new people and every conversation includes that question ( preceded by where are you from, what year are you in, what are you taking). Truth is I don't know what I plan to do in the future. Medicine sounds so appealing, simply because to me that's the top of society, they get to help others, and they're respected(most of the time). Doctors are the best out there. It also sounds scary, and stressful, and I don't really like anatomy and physiology all that much.  Physiotherapy is also an option, but every kin science student ever born has a desire at some point to be a physiotherapist, and do I really want to work in a tiny office all day, even if it does mean different patients all the time? At least doctors get to walk around the entire hospital. Occupational therapy sounds kind of cool, working to help those with a handicap to achieve their daily tasks. But then on the other hand, what if the client doesn't cooperate, what if they don't want to work towards those goals, will I be able to support them then?What if their expectations are too high?

Let's take a 180, what if I stay away from the big scary medical side and lean more towards the sport side. Coaching would be great, but what if I can't find a coaching job? What happens if the organization I work for has different goals than I do? Strength and Conditioning, sounds fun. What if I'm not in prime athletic condition, would I really be so hypocritical as to make my athletes do something I can't?  What if their goals of reaching a certain level just aren't achievable? Is it then my fault? So Athletic Therapy, combine the two sides.  Same things go, would I be able to make the call to pull someone off the field when they're injured? I've been there and couldn't pull myself off, because I knew how bad I wanted to play/win, so would I expect others to do the same?

The options for careers are essentially endless, tour guide, camp director, speech pathologist, kinesiologist, health promotion etc. And while I realize the concerns I have above are kind of little nitpicky things, there are larger consideration, like what would my family life be like, where would I end up working, how stable is my income etc. I'll be honest here for about 30 seconds ( but if you ever mention this to anyone I will deny it) I don't know what I want to do in life, and that terrifies me. You know what though? I am keeping my options open to anything and everything that comes my way. I have learned a number of things I don't want in a career, as well as a few I maybe do want, and I am sure eventually those wants and not wants will eventually collide into a wonderful career, maybe one that changes a few times, or maybe I'll be an anomaly and be one of those few who keep the same job forever (yeah right, who are we kidding, when have I ever been content to do one thing for that long?).

Anyway, it's getting late and I am sure I have far better things to do at 11:30 at night (sleep maybe?) then to continue this already way longer than I intended blog post, so bonne nuit mes amis.

-Britt

Home far and wide

Today I got a letter from my dogs. We all know dogs cannot send mail, so I'm suspecting it was my parents (considering there was also a letter from them at the same time), but it was a nice thought all the same. I've realized over the past few months how much home really means to me. Last year was more of an adventure period. I didn't want to think about home because I was too glad to be leaving it behind. Now, after nearly 13 consecutive months away (including camp all summer) I don't miss it per say more appreciate it for what it is. I think of a few places back home, like Trenton Park where I first learned to mountain bike, the Stellarton soccer fields where I played my first game of soccer and fell in love with the sport, the stop sign at the end of my road where I waited for the bus day after day for half of my life, joking aroundat  and carrying on with my friends, the V&S corner store, where penny candy was still a thing, the Valley Woods pond where we would skate when it was cold enough (rarely), and would be the meeting spot for everyone the rest of the time. Even the track of  GR and the weight room at Highland, and the gym at NRHS those sports that were played there will stay with me forever. I have made a lot of new memories since I came to Fredericton over a year ago, new mountain bike trails have been explored, new stores have been shopped at (although I am yet to find penny candy, the bulk barn is a good second), new teams have been coached, new skills have been learned. There is too much to mention at either place. The one thing I will say to Pictou County, is it was my start in life, it prepared me to be who I am right now. I had so many beginnings and opportunities in that place, and it will remain a part of me that I love and appreciate. It's changing now, and that's ok, because sometimes the best things are meant to change.  Fredericton has shown me how to seek out those opportunities more and more, it has taught me how to network and reach out to others instead of knowing someone who can pave the way.  Both places are thought of fondly and I can only wait to see the new places in store for my future and what each of them can bring.

As a side note, I meant to write this blog post on music after watching a video of Newfoundland set to some "fishing village" music. That just goes to show you how easily distracted I am.

Until Next Time,
Britt

Resolution

I was talking to a guy today at the Friendship room at the church we are working with here in Charlottetown, and we were talking about what I want to do as a career. After a little while he told me I seemed pretty focused for a 19 year old. It was one of those moments where you kind of stop and think about where you came from, all the hard decisions you made so far, all the mistakes you have made to get to that point. I’m at the point right now where I didn’t put enough effort into anything during my first two semesters and need to perform now in order to have any hope of getting into graduate school, especially med school. I’ve been timid of asking for help, seeing it as a sign of weakness. I’ve been a little dumb and naïve, thinking I could do it all and do it all well, all by myself. I’ve realized now how freaking wrong I was. I’m not able to do everything. I do need to prioritize. University is a chance for new experiences, but it’s also a chance to learn and to study. I am going back in September knowing what it feels like to fall pretty hard (by my standards anyway). I am going to give 110% to everything I do, but that might mean taking on less commitments. It will mean asking for help when I need it. It will also mean a few sacrifices. Maybe watching a movie with a friend isn’t more important that that midterm the next day. The one really good thing though is the resources and the people that I know will be around. I know I can boost my gpa, I know I will be able to start an honours project next year. I know I will be able to excel at my MCATS.  I just need to put in the work to do so. It will be hard, but I can do it. I need guidance, and strength from the only one who can give it, but I also know He will guide me through. It won’t be easy- very little that is worth anything rarely is, but it is possible and right now that’s all I need.

Coincidence

Delayed post-Written August 2013: 

Coincidence is a funny concept. So is fate. They kind of contradict each other. One is often used as an argument against the other. In Christianity there isn’t a whole lot of room for coincidences.  There is the belief we are all meant to be where we are every moment we are there in the scheme of some greater plan we are not wise enough to see. I have always believed in this concept, but I still am not ready to let go of the possibility that some things are just one big consequence. I think back to a few summers ago when I first got the job at this camp. Was it coincidence the camp I worked at for two years previous suddenly changed their job requirements? Was it a coincidence I got two rejection notices then ended up being called three days prior to training all because one girl needed to attend summer school? It’s a little mindblowing when we see the ways God can work in our lives. The fact I got that job three summers ago against all odds. 

Last night I had another one of those “this is too great to be a coincidence” moments. We had a dinner reservation at 6:00 pm but wanted to go to the movies at 6:30. We moved the reservation earlier, had everything pre decided to order, tried to rush through our meals and so on. It turned out there would be no way possible we could make it to the theatre on time, so we ate at leisure. We then decided to stroll to a giant chair and spend time taking photos. Out of the blue one of the members of our group decided she needed a new nose ring, so we started to walk to the tattoo shop, just down the road, even though we could have drove. As we were walking we saw a group of youth gathering in the parking lot of the catholic church- even though they normally meet inside. We walked over and ended up joining them for their meeting.  Along the way we also saw a sign for a concert that we went to tonight, and one of our group members ended up making a musical connection and learning a new song.  Who knows where he will play that song and the connections it will bring him, or how it will impact others. The youth group we went to opened my eyes, and we may never know if our being there will impact anybody else, but it is possible we were there that night to add to the conversation so that it may influence someone else. I just think about how incredible it is that our God can work in that way. He will lead us where we need to be, not where we want to be!

Maritimes

Over the past little while I have come to appreciate the maritimes more and more.  One of the biggest things that has stuck out to me in the past few weeks, first travelling to Glace Bay/New Waterford in Cape Breton, and spending this week in Charlottetown is the interconnectedness you feel with everyone. Even if you aren’t from the same place chances are they know someone who is from close to where you live, or have driven through on their way to visit somewhere or you have a mutual friend or something crazy like that. There is also a very distinct close knit community feel no matter where you go in the Maritimes. It’s weird, even now I’m in what would be classed as a city, but all of the people I have met so far are so welcoming and so open that it does not feel like that at all. I mean so far in the city I have talked to about 100 complete strangers at the Friendship room at the church we are working at, some random people at a concert tonight and was even stopped tonight at a restaurant by a customer wondering where the camp I work for is located ( I was still wearing my staff shirt). It’s just such a weird concept to grasp- but it really shouldn’t be. I hear horror stories of people moving away from home to a city and having a horrible experience. Or stories of newcomers coming and being put off a little by how open and friendly people are. It’s so weird to think this culture doesn’t necessarily exist everywhere.  It really is a reminder we need t stay humble and love our neighbours. I am only now starting to truly appreciate this concept.  I don’t know what I would ever do if I was to leave this area. I might be a little lost at first. 

Camp vs Society

I've been away from camp for a little over two weeks now, and let me tell you the transition back into normal life has been interesting. I remember when we came back from Ecaudor they talked a little about culture shock, leaving camp is a similar experience. there is a huge adjustment period, especially once you have lived there for 14 weeks. Of course leaving camp then coming straight into orientation week probably has a role to play in that, they are two very different experiences. I just thought I would post a few contrasts between society (university) and camp:

Camp-it's ok to not shower for two or three days because everyone understands you have absolutely no time, besides you're swimming every day anyway.
Society- daily showers are reccommended

Camp-staff shirts all the time mean you are never actually supposed to match your outfits and athletic shorts are acceptable 24/7
Society-getting dressed takes a lot more effort, you need to match outfits, and wear something other than workout clothes

Camp- shoes are optional
Society-shoes are necessary, oftentimes flip flops or runners are replaced by flats or "dress" shoes

Camp- because you live in such close quarters and are so used to each other awkward physical contact is expected and is no longer awkward
Society-that physical contact becomes uncomfortable again

Camp- somehow we manage to function on 4-6 hours of sleep a day
Society- once again my body requires 7-8 hours of sleep to function properly and stay awake during class

Camp- being active 95% of the day is awesome!
Society-sitting and doing work for 60% of the day is not so awesome


That's all I got for right now, I am sure there is more just can't think of any at this moment in time, feel free to add some of your own in the comments section :)

Pre Childrens Gathering

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I have about 10 billion things to do before Friday, so no time like the present to write another blog post eh? Children’s Gathering is this weekend!! So much excitement is going through my veins right now. In less than 48 hours there will be 57 campers running around the grounds. So much for the peace and quiet we’ve been having. Those campers will sure be a change. A welcome change though!

It’s weird though to be in this position. Just two summers ago I was desperately job hunting at this time, going into my Grade 12 year and not knowing how I was going to get money for university applications, sports equipment and everything else I needed. I applied absolutely everywhere –McDonalds, Tim Hortons (at about 4 different locations), three or four different summer camps, rec departments, I even applied for a landscaping job! I had more interviews that summer than I have had in my entire life! I was turned down from many positions-including counsellor at Scotian Glen twice!! I actually turned down an offer to work in the kitchen here, what I was thinking at that point in time is not clear to me now! I was so desperate and here I was turning down offers! Thankfully everything worked out for the best, and here I am today as a little ole Program Director at Scotian Glen. This job is absolutely incredible! I get to make crafts and plan things, and get paid to do it! Then once campers come I get to help run the activities and interact with the children all day without the worry of one of my campers walking into my bedroom in the middle of the night because they can’t sleep.  Not that I minded that a whole lot, but it will be nice to sleep without having to half listen for that knock on the door.

I’m still struggling with where exactly I fit into the scheme of daily life. I was so used to having tunnel vision almost. I was focused on the 20 odd campers I shared with my co-counsellors and tended to notice only the boys cabin who was partnered with us.  Now I have to have God vision. I need to see everything that is happening around the camp, it will be an adjustment for sure.  It’s also going to be weird in how I relate with the staff. As a counsellor, I always felt there was a division between program staff and the counsellors. Maybe it was just me and I perceived them as being in a position of higher authority than me so I made up that division. That is something I don’t want this summer though. I want to be able to relate to the other staff members better than some of the program directors I have encountered in the past (although last summer was pretty good, the summer before I felt a huge division).  It is something I am going to strive for this summer, but it will be a delicate balance between breaking down the boundaries but yet still being their leader.

Well, I guess that’s about it for right now. I’m going to head to bed soon, enjoy the early nights while they last, because I know this weekend, then again in 2 weeks there will be no more quiet and no more bed before 11! What can ya do?

Until Next Time,

Britt

Family Relationships

Mothers are funny people. I never got along with mine particularly well, not that there was anything wrong with her, or with our relationship, but we just didn’t (and still don’t) see eye to eye on certain things, and have some different interests and hobbies. My mother hates nature, she thinks walking on a 2 minute path between the soccer field and a residential neighbourhood  is hiking through the woods. She thinks jeans need to flare out at the bottom, and not be tight anywhere. She keeps absolutely everything, including clothes that don’t fit and she hasn’t worn in 10 years. I spend more time in the woods than I do at home sometimes. I think my jeans should be fitted at the thigh, then either be straight leg, or skinny leg. I throw out anything I haven’t used in the past month or two and don’t envision myself using in the next month.  I have never relied on my mother for anything. Ever since I was 15 I have earned my own money (for the most part), and before then I would save Christmas and Birthday money for things I wanted. Her advice often went in one ear and out the other, and most of the time it was unnecessary (Never leave your drink unattended at a party or someone might spike it- I mean come on mom, I do have some common sense).  We would fight about stupid things, mainly because I was too stubborn and strong willed to accept her false information at face value.

It wasn’t until I got the job as program director that I realized how much I wanted to make her proud. I called her with the news, as soon I got the position, and was so excited, as was she. It was the first time I have ever shared in excitement with her. Then she wrote me an email, after I got off the phone, telling me how proud of me she was (of course it was filled with the same old common sense advice that I ignored, but still).  I still have that email saved. It was the first time I can recall her ever making a special effort to tell me she was proud.  I mean it was always there, written in graduation cards, being said as I told her of the scholarship I won, but never did I really believe it until that point in time.  When I received the job at the gym back at school, she was the first person I called again, even though it meant calling her at work on my weak service cell phone. I realized in that moment that all I have ever wanted to do was make her proud, and I feel, up to this point, I have accomplished that.

I spent so much of my life feeling like I was missing out on that motherly pride at sporting events, and that we would never be able to share that connection, but I realized that I didn’t need her to be proud of my baskets I scored, or the shut out I had at provincials, that wasn’t her area of interest. Thankfully I had my father for that. I remember him coming to one of my basketball games in middle school, and I had just scored 2 points. It wasn’t a particularly fancy shot, it wasn’t the first basket I had scored that game, but I remember looking at him on my way down the court and seeing that little half smile that you give when you can’t help yourself. His pride was written all over his face, and I will never forget that moment. Looking back now, Dad was always there for the sports, the adventure, and the school, Mom was only focused on the scholastic aspect, but that was alright. I have always craved the support of my parents, but not I see I’ve had it all along!

Until next time,

Britt