Rainy Day Adventures

After suffering thorough -30 degrees for a while it has finally warmed up, really warmed up. Yesterday and today it was over 10 degrees and raining with a warm wind, which is pretty much a tropical paradise compared to what it was.  I, being a completely sane individual who was aching for an adventure, decided to go for a bike ride, not just to the curling rink like I do mostly every time it is warm enough my chain won't freeze, but actually exploring. I spent an hour and a bit exploring the city more or less, and by exploring I mean I got lost somewhere out by Marysville, and knew where I was just didn't know how to get back home without turning around. It was great. If I didn't have to be somewhere in a set period of time I would have continued my exploring and eventually made it back without backtracking, but I didn't want to be late and wasn't sure how long it would take to end up at one of the two bridges that would have taken me back to the south side.

As I biked by people who were driving today I could see them judge me. "Oh that poor soul, has to bike to school/work" (the kinder looks), or " What a complete idiot, doesn't she know it is raining out, what is wrong with her?!?" (the not so kind looks). What they didn't realize was how much I needed this bike ride. To feel the power in my legs, to fly through the trails, and yes, even to be a little lost was exactly what I needed. Adventure and exploration is a part of me, I have learned that I cannot survive without a little adventure, especially of the outside variety. Hitting the gym every day just doesn't cut it, I need the fresh air, the sense of being lost while knowing exactly where I am, seeing parts of town for the first time. I cannot survive by being cooped in, tied down it's just a part of who I am and what I need for survival. I realize this now and no longer will I neglect this desire, this want, this need.

Until next time,
Britt

I love You

I remember coming home from school one day, about three years ago and seeing my mother sitting on the deck. She was supposed to be at work. I made a comment, and she just said that she came home early. I proceeded in the house as normal, and started logging onto the computer and grabbing a quick snack. She soon came in and said a few simple words, "your grandfather has cancer." I was 17, and I have heard of it, but I have also heard of people surviving, so I wasn't all that worried, nor did I really stop to think about it, I just continued on with what I was doing. He had surgery, made it through that and we played the waiting game. At the same time I was called to work at Scotian Glen Camp. You know they say things happen for a reason? Well with the events that followed I believe that. His surgery happened the first week campers came. I was stressed, but not overly worried. Then about three or four days later I got the phone call I had secretly been dreading all along. He was rushed by hospital by ambulance and then sent to Halifax to undergo emergency surgery. I was shocked and didn't really know what to do. my parents called me at 7 in the morning, right before I had to wake up campers, and I know it is because of those children I made it through that day. I couldn't think straight, I didn't talk to anybody until that night, and then I truly knew how amazing some people can be. Since then he has undergone more surgery, recovered and is cancer free. However it wasn't until tonight I realized that losing him was a very real threat all that time. He could have died. I don't know why it took so long to sink in, maybe because I wasn't letting it, but I know I am grateful he is here today!

So much stress

If anybody is even borderline stressed right now, I would avoid reading this post if you are anything like me, because it will only increase your stress levels right now of you are anything like me. Oh my goodness the crazy stressful stuff that is happening. Firstly is academics. I have four midterms happening in the next week, along with a crazy amount of assignments (like my bio lab I should be doing right now, but just can't  focus). On top of all that I am curling a solid 10 hours a week and still need to find time to workout. There is also the whole thing about our house president being evicted over pictures posted on facebook, of them playing drinking games in res, a big no-no, but still, everyone does it and nobody really thinks about it, it's one of those don't see don't care things for proctors, and then pictures were posted and  everything broke loose. It's also really bad timing, because Tibbits week is NEXT WEEK! That means relay for life is this weekend. So is curl for cancer. Everything is happening at once.

To top everything off dad texted me today and told me to call him. I did, thinking it was mom wanting to shoot off again about something. It's funny, when you get those messages the worst possible situations always run through your head but you always dismiss them thinking you're crazy. Well tonight the first thing that I thought was oh man something's wrong, then I rationalized myself into thinking it was mom wanting to shoot off. Then I call dad up and my grandfather was sent to the hospital LAST NIGHT!Last night, or this morning at 3, whichever. and they didn't think to tell me until 5:30? In all fairness I guess I was in classes all day and probably would not have called them back anyway, but still. I really don't want to have to worry about this right now, but it is what it is.

I am taking this moment to give everything up to you Lord. I cannot do this alone, and I am asking for your help. I need you to guide me through these next few weeks. You have already showed me several times how wonderful you are, and I ask God that, once more, you lead me to the path I am meant to be on.

Lance Armstrong on Oprah

I spent an hour and a half tonight watching the Lance Armstrong interview on Oprah. Honestly I couldn't be more rattled right now. So many things he said. I knew he was going to admit to using performance enhancers, I think I knew deep down that he was guilty the entire time, no matter how much he denied it, but I never really admitted this man who has been such an inspiration for so many. Everything he has done. I first really fell in love with mountain biking and cycling when I was in grade eight. I have been obsessed with this man for the past six or so years of my life. I mean I read his novels, I knew he was a jerk, but it didn't really matter then. When being a jerk was his only character flaw I was willing to overlook it. Now I'm not so sure, I'm also not one of these haters who is going around like Lance came up to them personally and lied to them to their face. Tonight's interview was eye opening to say the least. Some of the things he said were thought provoking to say the least. Like when he said something along the lines of "there was only two times when I couldn't control the outcome- when I was diagnosed with cancer and now. I knew I was going to win those 7 tours." Not being able to control things is scary, I know because I have tried to control as much in my life as I possibly could. There is no way I am letting others make those decisions for me, and I can see why being a professional athlete that would be terrifying. Your whole life is on display and at least if you are the one in control and you mess up it's on you, nobody but yourself. I actually admired that about Lance tonight, he tried to keep others out of the interview despite Oprah's attempts to constantly bring them in- although that could just be his giant ego getting in the way and not wanting to talk about anybody but himself, but for now I will at least give him credit for not trying to throw others under the bus as they threw him.

Something else that stood out in tonights interview was when he said he had a desire to win at all costs. I mean I knew this, pretty sure it was mentioned in a previous book, but he also said that cancer brought on this desire to succeed. It's almost as if he blames cancer for the drugs was how that part all came off to me. He had his first taste at success when he beat a disease he was not supposed to (as bad as it sounds to call that a success) and then wanted to keep winning. Honestly I'm not even sure the drugs had as much of an effect as they seem to at first. It was his will to succeed, his drive that won the tour. He admitted to doping prior to being diagnosed, and there are no tour de france titles back then, so why all of a sudden (ok, a few years) after being so sick, told he was going to die he won. He won not because of the drugs (although they were a factor) but because of who he was. He says at one point that he didn't feel wrong, didn't feel bad, didn't feel like he was cheating when he was doping, and then goes on to say "scary isn't it." Yeah Lance, it's bloody terrifying. You were one of the biggest dopers in history, you doped for over seven years (not sure the actual amount of time) and planned it in such a way you could never be caught. You never even thought it was wrong. Later he goes on to justify it as not being cheating, because he never gained an unfair advantage, he simply leveled the playing field. And you know what? In a way he is right. he never gained any advantage in cheating, everyone else was too, he just pushed harder, maybe he cheated a little more than some, maybe he was the better cyclist all along who knows.


One comment he made closer to the end was: "I am happier today than when I was winning" To which Oprah (whole other rant focused on her, but I won't subject you all to that right now) responded "Even with all that has happened?" He simply restated "I said I am happier today" Doesn't respond to her question, doesn't elaborate, nothing. Why? Is he secretly happy he no longer has to lie, glad it's all out in the open? This was definitely one part of the interview that left me questioning.

The final thing that struck me was when he said he wouldn't be sitting here (with madam Winfrey) if it wasn't for his comeback (which he claims he was clean for). What arrogance, to imagine that  he could have gotten away with everything. The sad part is it is most likely true. If it was not for his comeback and his head butting with Travis Tygart (not too sure on the spelling there) of the USADA he may have gotten off without any lasting allegation.

As you can probably tell from most of that I have no idea what in the world happened tonight.I cannot quite process it all. I am not against Lance Armstrong in any way, he has done some great things for the sport of cycling, bringing it to attention as a sport, and now setting an example (or being made an example depending on how you look at it) and with the whole Livestrong thing, raising money to help cancer patients along with their journey. I also cannot wait to hear what he has to say tomorrow night, I only wish that this wasn't being made into such a big TV event so that we could hear what him and Oprah really talked about, no holds barred for real, the real answers, not these made for TV ones.

Until next time,
Britt

Another Day Gone

Time is actually flying by. Things just don't seem to be getting accomplished. I almost finished cleaning my bedroom, barely finished my lab on time, have yet to mail the student loan papers that I was going to mail and a ton of other things need to get done. It's crazy how easy things pile up. I might have to start a giant to do list once again. Anyway, tomorrow morning I will be up bright and early making sure everything is accomplished, including a good solid workout, before most people are awake...I hope. Sometimes that desire to sleep wins, but it WILL NOT tomorrow.

getting restless

This is the first year in many that I haven't had a big summer or March break adventure to look forward to. The restlessness is actually driving me crazy. I have realized through travelling and working at different camps over the past few years that all I want is to travel, to explore, to adventure. We learn so much about the world we live in by adventuring. Even just wandering through your neighbourhood for a while. I think certain people in my family have a hard time understanding the sense of independence and adventure I have developed over the past number of years. It is almost as if people are holding on too tight, which is then pushing me farther away. I don't want it to be like this, because I realized a long time ago how hard it can be to let someone go and explore on their own but at the same time it is something that I need to do to better appreciate where I came from. Oddly enough I have gained a better sense of what home is through travelling and living farther away. In the past two years I have had a "home" in Mexico, Ecuador, at camp, in Sussex, in Fredericton and of course back in good ole PC. Through all this, although they were all different PC brings the most comfort and familiarity, but I believe that comfort is only achieved by feeling what it means to step out of my "comfort zone" and "expand my horizons". I am not capable of remaining situated in one location forever, and I want to experience new things, so starts the job hunt for a sick summer job this year, looking into some internships abroad and in rural communities in Canada, or even working at camps across this great country. We'll see how it goes!

Wish me luck,
Britt

just keep swimming

This semester is not off to a good start. I only hope things get better from here. Today was interesting, didn't sleep so great last night, because somehow res manages to be 500 degrees all the time. Then I skipped breakfast, ate food from the fridge, walked out the door, fell on my butt not even three steps outside. Went to class, took notes, went to another class, learned absolutely nothing useful or new... longest 1.5 hours yet. Managed to survive physiology which was a plus. It actually isn't that bad so far, might be able to pull off that A plus after all. I then proceeded to waste the rest of the day through eating lunch, going to the gym, showering and eating supper. Then hanging out with people, so now I have gotten very little accomplished other than becoming crazily stressed and upset. I really wish this printer of mine would work. It would make things much better. Anyway... tomorrow is fast approaching: a brand new day, with new opportunities and new chances for success. I can do this!

Just Keep Swimming,
Until next time,
Britt

Another Day, Another 8:30 class

I only have one problem with all these 8:30 classes. The fact that, especially on curling days, I need to drag my butt out of bed around six in order to get a solid workout in. I can no longer wake up at 7:00, or 7:30, eat and still have time to workout and shower before class. Man oh man those were the good days. Now it's alarm blares at six, drag myself in the cold to the gym, have 45 minutes tops to workout, then have to grab a speedy shower and breakfast then sprint to class. Great times. Life could be much worse though, at least the gym is nice and quiet at that time of day ;)

After the gym today I had my first "real" lectures of the semester. It was a pretty solid time. Super pumped for health and wellness, linear algebra might be alright and bio will be a bore, like always. My only problem with Monday, Wednesday and Friday is the awkward hour in between every class. I might end up going to the gym in between there instead... or hitting up the curling rink. Both are viable options... or you know actually studying, but who does that anymore. It's not like I need a 4.3 gpa this semester or anything. Of course not.

Oh my goodness curling. I never realized how much I actually enjoy playing with people who know what's up. It's great, being able to curl and not stress about whether your team will be able to play in regionals, or if you'll be missing too many players to musical practice or a basketball game.  I might even be able to get used to being "the weak link" in the sense that my shot making isn't always as accurate as it should be.

Anyways that's about it for tonight, gotta be up bright and early tomorrow morning to make it to the gym/ another one of those dreaded 8:30's!!

Until next time,
Britt

Back at 'er

Here I am, back in good ole Fredericton. Feels as if I haven't left. Just survived my first class, after a solid four and a half hours of sleep and no breakfast. Thankfully it was only 20 minutes long, gotta love the first day back.

I'm really excited to get back and get in a routine again. I have been lazing around and doing absolutely nothing for the past three weeks. I went curling yesterday and my oh my was it ever rough. I could barely slide properly. Three weeks off is a long time to not be on the ice.  I had great plans for today, wake up early, go to the gym, come back, eat breakfast, shower, all that good stuff, but so far none of it happened. I was up way too late to even think about waking up at six today and ended up getting out of bed about ten minutes before I left for class. C'est la vie. I don't have a lab today though so I will probably grab a good workout then, hopefully the gym isn't too full of resolutioners trying to get fit and using all the equipment I need. Don't't get me wrong, I think it's great others are trying to get fit, but it can be annoying when all I want to do is get a workout in and others are in the way... I'm more of a scheduled to the second workout person, and don't like others in the way, but I need to learn to be more flexible in my workouts and listen to my body better, so maybe it's a good thing!

Anyway.. guess I should probably attempt to go find my next class. It's almost like the first day all over, except at least I know where the buildings are and don't have to download maps in my phone with the fastest route!

Until next time,
Britt

2012- a year of change

Well folk, another one is in the book. 2012 was a year of change, in more ways than one. I traveled to another continent, finished high school, started university and more! It has been great, and below are some of my year highlights.

Ecuador:
Without a doubt one of the most influential events in my life. It was an amazing experience. I will most likely be partaking in something similar in the near future ( 2013/2014?)

Camp:
Always an adventure. Not sure what is in store for this summer, but this is something that will be under great consideration.

Graduation:
Despite not wanting to go, it wasn't an awful experience. Just hot and sweaty, but not as bad as I was expecting. And I'm done high school forever!

University:
Moving to Fredericton was definitely the right choice. School is great,  it's a great city and lots of great opportunities.

Here's to hoping 2013 is just as good or better than 2012!