Lance Armstrong on Oprah

I spent an hour and a half tonight watching the Lance Armstrong interview on Oprah. Honestly I couldn't be more rattled right now. So many things he said. I knew he was going to admit to using performance enhancers, I think I knew deep down that he was guilty the entire time, no matter how much he denied it, but I never really admitted this man who has been such an inspiration for so many. Everything he has done. I first really fell in love with mountain biking and cycling when I was in grade eight. I have been obsessed with this man for the past six or so years of my life. I mean I read his novels, I knew he was a jerk, but it didn't really matter then. When being a jerk was his only character flaw I was willing to overlook it. Now I'm not so sure, I'm also not one of these haters who is going around like Lance came up to them personally and lied to them to their face. Tonight's interview was eye opening to say the least. Some of the things he said were thought provoking to say the least. Like when he said something along the lines of "there was only two times when I couldn't control the outcome- when I was diagnosed with cancer and now. I knew I was going to win those 7 tours." Not being able to control things is scary, I know because I have tried to control as much in my life as I possibly could. There is no way I am letting others make those decisions for me, and I can see why being a professional athlete that would be terrifying. Your whole life is on display and at least if you are the one in control and you mess up it's on you, nobody but yourself. I actually admired that about Lance tonight, he tried to keep others out of the interview despite Oprah's attempts to constantly bring them in- although that could just be his giant ego getting in the way and not wanting to talk about anybody but himself, but for now I will at least give him credit for not trying to throw others under the bus as they threw him.

Something else that stood out in tonights interview was when he said he had a desire to win at all costs. I mean I knew this, pretty sure it was mentioned in a previous book, but he also said that cancer brought on this desire to succeed. It's almost as if he blames cancer for the drugs was how that part all came off to me. He had his first taste at success when he beat a disease he was not supposed to (as bad as it sounds to call that a success) and then wanted to keep winning. Honestly I'm not even sure the drugs had as much of an effect as they seem to at first. It was his will to succeed, his drive that won the tour. He admitted to doping prior to being diagnosed, and there are no tour de france titles back then, so why all of a sudden (ok, a few years) after being so sick, told he was going to die he won. He won not because of the drugs (although they were a factor) but because of who he was. He says at one point that he didn't feel wrong, didn't feel bad, didn't feel like he was cheating when he was doping, and then goes on to say "scary isn't it." Yeah Lance, it's bloody terrifying. You were one of the biggest dopers in history, you doped for over seven years (not sure the actual amount of time) and planned it in such a way you could never be caught. You never even thought it was wrong. Later he goes on to justify it as not being cheating, because he never gained an unfair advantage, he simply leveled the playing field. And you know what? In a way he is right. he never gained any advantage in cheating, everyone else was too, he just pushed harder, maybe he cheated a little more than some, maybe he was the better cyclist all along who knows.


One comment he made closer to the end was: "I am happier today than when I was winning" To which Oprah (whole other rant focused on her, but I won't subject you all to that right now) responded "Even with all that has happened?" He simply restated "I said I am happier today" Doesn't respond to her question, doesn't elaborate, nothing. Why? Is he secretly happy he no longer has to lie, glad it's all out in the open? This was definitely one part of the interview that left me questioning.

The final thing that struck me was when he said he wouldn't be sitting here (with madam Winfrey) if it wasn't for his comeback (which he claims he was clean for). What arrogance, to imagine that  he could have gotten away with everything. The sad part is it is most likely true. If it was not for his comeback and his head butting with Travis Tygart (not too sure on the spelling there) of the USADA he may have gotten off without any lasting allegation.

As you can probably tell from most of that I have no idea what in the world happened tonight.I cannot quite process it all. I am not against Lance Armstrong in any way, he has done some great things for the sport of cycling, bringing it to attention as a sport, and now setting an example (or being made an example depending on how you look at it) and with the whole Livestrong thing, raising money to help cancer patients along with their journey. I also cannot wait to hear what he has to say tomorrow night, I only wish that this wasn't being made into such a big TV event so that we could hear what him and Oprah really talked about, no holds barred for real, the real answers, not these made for TV ones.

Until next time,
Britt